Well twitter really has had a profound effect on social networking.
But other than that, it’s really funny. And darn, some people are so funny! Here’s a few funny tweets from some of the funnier people I’ve been following over the past few days.
Awesome Tweets!
@unanything
I’ll never understand why drunk guys in bars try to fight each other when they could be trying to take home slutty bitches instead.
@ruthakers
I see my kids as future members of the Vatican. I said to clean up their rooms and instead they hid it all in the closet and under the rug.
@simonpegg
I just watched a terrifying film about a couple who unwittingly buy a haunted yogurt. It’s called Paranormal Activia … I’m here all week
@LeighAnnMol
Note to self: Camomile tea does bugger all for insomnia. I think I’ll try something a little stronger next time. Like hashish.
@ConanOBrien
This morning I watched Remington Steele while eating Sugar Smacks out of a salad bowl. I was naked.
@kathygriffin
Ok, I’ve made a decision. Hey @Heidimontag, you do not appear to be very intelligent. Also, your husband looks a little “date rape-y”.
@badbanana
Personally, I needed a good volcano news story to take my mind off the Larry King sex scandal.
@capricecrane
Scientists may have created bullet-proof t-shirts. Don’t let Ed Hardy see this. We don’t need invincible douchebags
@Capt_Blackadder
‘Bob’, Your disguise is as convincing as a giraffe wearing dark sunglasses trying to get into a polar bear’s only golf club
@WhitneyCummings
Buying swimsuits online is like gambling…if gambling made you wait 3-5 business days and gave you an eating disorder
@rustyrockets
My future wife @katyperry informs me we are to adopt Justin Bieber, we shall raise him with love, but only I will breastfeed him.
@billmaher
Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?
@fireland
One man. One dream. One crazy summer. Three wizards. Fourteen cobras. Ten thousand condoms. I dunno, I’m just listing things.
@whoisJason
what does cheese say when it’s getting its picture taken?
@KimLaraZiman
Ok I just had a thought: where do all those homeless people charge their cell phones?
@ladymisskate
If I have to blow my nose one more time, I’m gonna start to feel like it owes me dinner
@chelseahandler
Being intoxicated on stage is an art form, Mariah. Call me girl; I’ll give you some tips
Iceland’s beautiful, inconvenient volcano. Too early to make jokes? Let’s wait for the dust to settle…
Laters Tweeps.. errr Springleapers!
Danya